The events of last night have forced upon me the conclusion that for some, unknown, cosmic reason God is looking out for me, and despite all of my self-destructive efforts, He keeps me on a safe path. Allow me to explain.

I drank heavily last night. I took an extremely bad attitude out with me and made some very bad decisions. The previous week had been very rough, and I decided that instead of worrying about it, I just wouldn´t care about anything. A liter of 98 cent Sangria is never a good idea. Combine that with the other things I had to drink and before we even got to the clubs I was probably as drunk as I´ve ever been. I was following some of the other LSA students when I got separated from them in a part of Barcelona I hadn´t been to yet.

I picked a direction, back the way I had come, and just started to walk. After a while I ran into a bus station and got on the next bus that came. I fell asleep on it, and was woken up by the driver at the end of the line. I disembarked to find myself in an shipping area of some kind, it smelt of fish. I wandered through this park for maybe an hour before finding another bus station. It actually may have been the same bus station, I wasn´t sure. I got on the next bus, again without knowing where it was headed. Somehow this bus went to the stop outside my house, and I got off and went upstairs to bed.

I won´t be melodramatic, I was never in any danger of actually dying at any point this night, and I don´t think that was even a possibility. I should however, have spent the night in an alleyway somewhere bereft of my wallet and possibly some of my clothes. I also shouldn´t pretend that their were no consequences, my actions brought shame upon myself and those I know.

But, still considering the situation, hammered, tired, lost, in a foreign city where I cannot speak the language, looking like a foreigner, and without a cell phone or even an idea of who to call, I somehow ended up back in my room. I took two buses on impulse with no idea of to where they were heading and somehow ended up where I wanted to be. My life seems to be full of experiences like this. The amount of times I should have been completely screwed are orders of magnitude greater then the amount of times I´ve been actually screwed. Maybe it´s time I started acting like I deserve this kind of attention.

The best part of the night was wandering the shipping area. Nothing interesting happened, but wandering aimlessly, in retrospect, felt a little like paying penance, and soothed some of my guilt (undeservedly of course). I´m either going to have to start behaving as I should, or find out if Barcelona has an AA program.